Are there any alternatives to fn_my_permissions when SELECT is denied?

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My research has led me to believe that the standard for checking your own permissions in a sql server database is to use fn_my_permissions, but I'm running into a situation where users have somehow lost the SELECT permission on fn_my_permissions, rendering this method unusable.

Are there any alternatives to fn_my_permissions (or workarounds to this specific problem), or is a user in this situation effectively unable to check their own permissions?

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PseudoToad On

You can query sys.database_permissions. The below is from the MSDN page.

Any user can see their own permissions. To see permissions for other users, requires VIEW DEFINITION, ALTER ANY USER, or any permission on a user. To see user-defined roles, requires ALTER ANY ROLE, or membership in the role (such as public).

http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms188367.aspx